Insignificance

 I cannot help but to succumb to the gleam in his eyes when he laughs, and the tears in his eyes when he frowns.

Like a child, he becomes so giddy by lifes smallest and most simple gifts.

Like a child, he cowers in fear at lifes most smallest and simple dilemmas.

But a full beard, strong craftsman hands, a musical soul, a charismatic flow, and an attractive suit mask this boyish nature.

I can’t help but want to treat him to sweet ice cream, and hold an umbrella over his head as he playfully stomps his feet in the rain. I dont mind getting wet. I want to care for my wide, baby blue-eyed gemini lover, and as long as he’s dry, enjoying his ‘tream tream’, I’m perfectly happy. right?

Like a child, hes so easy to love, yet so hard to keep in one place for long. Half man, half boy, with supression as his only defense, and emotion as his shield, he’s not got much suited for battle.

Oh you logical, strong, independent girl, so wound by your emotions..you’ve met your greatest challenge yet..Romance with the most attractive, inspiring man-boy you’ve ever come across_ if not the only. 

Logicizing all emotion on tip toes,
your thoughts and emotions become heavy, yet the eggshells are light.

Is his Venus going to break your heart?
I hope to God, not.

By the week.
My religious beliefs have been altered.
My outlook on life has completely changed into something beautiful_
and without a doubt is still far from complete.

I’ve learned by now to never trust myself with my current feelings, but to only accept them as they constantly come and go, because that is what they will always do.

I’ve studied the philosophy of ethics, mixed with the idea of any christian based religion, mixed with a Buddhist twist, sorted in by the ideas of my surroundings and my own comfortability. I’ve composed a detailed analysis of the beauty of belief and coincidence, and how it’s used in every day life by individuals in our society as a whole.

I find myself making everyday situations into analogies based on mankind, and I find myself realizing how most living things have basic needs and weaknesses, and how those needs should be implemented into everyone’s lives.

What the beauty of this all is, if you’re still reading_reader, is the fact that self awareness, belief, and love is the key to sufficient living. If you are self aware, and find a love for yourself and others, you’re more likely to have an optimistic outlook, which keeps that love and drive going. It creates an optimistic belief. If you believe that you will succeed, then most likely you will, because your positive outlook will have an affect on your actions, raising your percentage of succeeding.

I find that living in the moment from a third person view, tapping into who I am in the moment, rather than who I have been, helps me significantly.

(All you do is visualize who you want to be as who you are -RIGHT NOW-, all the time. I say “Who you are” because all you have to do is be who you want to be, and then you simple “are”)

If you constantly live in the moment, you can never fail, because you will never rush yourself, you will never dwell on what you have been because you will always only Be.Here.Now.

In the moment you learn to have a higher appreciation for things because these moments are always passing, and are so precious. In the moment, you realize that optimism and love creates a happier and healthier lifestyle. You can find peace in the moment because you have no baggage from the past, you have no worries about tomorrow. You’re only taking on things one at a time.


Hope this helps anyone who may have read it. And add-ons are welcome. I love to grow and learn. This is what the years to come are all about for me.

<3

Morgan

Forgive me for the mistakes I’ve made. For the times where my temper was short, and my words weren’t carefully chosen. For the times when I’d forgotten to think of you because I was lost in myself. Always be honest with me, and please be forgiving of me. I’m growing, accepting, and the last thing id want to do is hurt you.

People are so easily misguided by everyone elses opinion that they tend to conform to what other people create for them, instead of living by their own logic and self-awareness. Its crazy what we label as important or factual these days just because of TV, advertising and the internet. Some people dont even know who to look up to anymore because all we know is what surrounds us. And you have to admit, we have more ignorance in our face now days than anything. Its easy to conform, but its admirable to do whats morally right even though nobody else agrees.

Kind of like people.

  It’s weird whenever you want to rant about something, but you make logic of it as you’re blogging,

You no longer have anything to ramble about so you just backspace through everything, and go back to wishing you could feel passionately towards something.
It’s hard going through writers block, even though the world around you has been extremely dramatic, and you feel so much_too much, at once.

Zach has taught me to stop analyzing my feelings and just FEEL what is in the moment. (Something i’ve had a terribly difficult time doing all of my life)
and to stop questioning WHY, all of the damn time.
Sometimes i dig so damn much because i absolutely despise not knowing why.

I’ve been dealing with instability all too much lately.
Trying to form some sort of spirituality, as ive been battling between reason and religion.

I’m a firm believer that the mind is all too powerful, but i’m also extremely spiritual.

My life has been full of a playlist consisting of the title “Too Much Estrogen”, Wine Black N Milds , Sexual Cravings, Self Control/Self Esteem/Self Image/Self Destructing issues, Trying to find a place to live and be happy, and falling in love all at the same time.

You’d think i was sad, but being sad is okay to me, because everything passes, and we move on. We learn from our tears and our anger. I embrace any emotion with open arms because it’s a beautiful thing to say that you’ve felt the pain and weakness that struggle can cause. It builds character, wisdom, strength and a solid foundation.

I’m regressing, and progressing all at once. Always different, always the same. Everything is a learning experience and i will come out more knowledgeable if i fuck up, like i always have. I have my back, and plenty of others have it too.

I cant help but to be positive about the outcome. I am a Sagittarius, you know.

-MD

Invested in this book yesterday :)
Its wonderful. Not only does it touch on crazily kinky interests of the Zodiac signs by sex, but it delves into the body, mind and soul.

9.18.11

:)